You clean your wounds. You throw away what you used to hurt yourself, not put away, throw away. You hold yourself, tell yourself that it’s going to be okay, remind yourself that whatever it is that’s worrying you isn’t going to last forever. In any way possible, you make yourself feel better. Maybe that means watching a movie or listening to some music or spending time on a small little website.
It’s okay to relapse. It’s okay to feel hellish. Stumbling means that you were trying and trying is the first step to recovery. 40 days clean is no easy feat. You’ll make it there again and you’ll exceed and you’ll keep exceeding and one day you’re going to be living your beautiful life in a way where everything just seems to fit.
Until then, I want you to try to make yourself calm again. Take deep breaths and bandage yourself and know that the way that you’re feeling is only temporary. One day you’ll be able to turn around and say ‘I made it.’ So hold your chin up for now and take it slowly. You can do this.